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Wednesday, December 9, 2009
I wanted to talk about a conference I went to back in October.
The guest speakers were husband and wife (The Theoharis's) and also professors at Syracuse University. Here is Julie's website for those interested in learning more.
When I first decided I wanted Megan included my husband and I talked about where we thought Megan needed to "be" to do it. We set 1 goal...that she needed to be fully potty trained or otherwise she would stand out in the classroom as different.
What I didn't realize was that it was ok that she was different. Her speech and her physical ability would make her stand out and that was ok. That was why we wanted her included, to make her "difference" one's others could accept.
Julie Causton-Theoharis started the conference by talking about a mom and her disabled daughter. Julie was assigned to this family as a 1 on 1 and was told she would be doomed as a para-professional because this mother was CRAZY (or so that is what the other teachers and school administration had said). Her daughter could not walk and barely spoke, she was in a wheelchair and she wanted her daughter to go to her home school. NOW THAT IS CRAZY ISN'T IT???? Julie spent a lot of time with this family. The mother started out by telling her their story. They moved into town and her daughter was assigned to go to a special school where they were prepared to deal with her extensive needs. Her mother would have to wake up extra early and put her daughter on a bus that goes 1 hour away. But her mother didn't want that. She wanted her daughter to go to the same school as the kids next door. The school was not even a mile from her home. Shouldn't her daughter get to go to that school? It saves her daughter 2 hours of riding on a bus a day...10 hours a week. So the mother wheeled her daughter right into the home school and signed her up. The school looked at her and her daughter and nicely said, "oh, your daughter needs to go to the wheel chair school, not here, we are not equipped to help her here."
So the mother was shooed away and told to send her to the other school.
The mom still did not want to go to that other school so she marched right into the school the next day and wheeled her daughter into the 1st grade classroom where she belonged. She walked out and went home. She received a phone call right away telling her to come pick up her daughter that the teacher was not equipped to handle her and didn't know what to do with her. The mother responded,"just teach her like you would teach the other kids" and hung up the phone. The phone rang again and it was the school administration telling the mother to come pick up the child. That the building had fire safety rules and that they would not be able to get her daughter out of the school in time and she would most likely die in a fire.
The mother instead researched and found that not only were there no fires ever in that school, but there were no real fires in any of the schools in that state in the past 50 years. So the mother went right into that school and said, "I give you my permission that if there is a fire in the school then you can let my daughter burn."
THINK ABOUT THIS AND I WILL BE BACK TO BLOG LATER.
The guest speakers were husband and wife (The Theoharis's) and also professors at Syracuse University. Here is Julie's website for those interested in learning more.
When I first decided I wanted Megan included my husband and I talked about where we thought Megan needed to "be" to do it. We set 1 goal...that she needed to be fully potty trained or otherwise she would stand out in the classroom as different.
What I didn't realize was that it was ok that she was different. Her speech and her physical ability would make her stand out and that was ok. That was why we wanted her included, to make her "difference" one's others could accept.
Julie Causton-Theoharis started the conference by talking about a mom and her disabled daughter. Julie was assigned to this family as a 1 on 1 and was told she would be doomed as a para-professional because this mother was CRAZY (or so that is what the other teachers and school administration had said). Her daughter could not walk and barely spoke, she was in a wheelchair and she wanted her daughter to go to her home school. NOW THAT IS CRAZY ISN'T IT???? Julie spent a lot of time with this family. The mother started out by telling her their story. They moved into town and her daughter was assigned to go to a special school where they were prepared to deal with her extensive needs. Her mother would have to wake up extra early and put her daughter on a bus that goes 1 hour away. But her mother didn't want that. She wanted her daughter to go to the same school as the kids next door. The school was not even a mile from her home. Shouldn't her daughter get to go to that school? It saves her daughter 2 hours of riding on a bus a day...10 hours a week. So the mother wheeled her daughter right into the home school and signed her up. The school looked at her and her daughter and nicely said, "oh, your daughter needs to go to the wheel chair school, not here, we are not equipped to help her here."
So the mother was shooed away and told to send her to the other school.
The mom still did not want to go to that other school so she marched right into the school the next day and wheeled her daughter into the 1st grade classroom where she belonged. She walked out and went home. She received a phone call right away telling her to come pick up her daughter that the teacher was not equipped to handle her and didn't know what to do with her. The mother responded,"just teach her like you would teach the other kids" and hung up the phone. The phone rang again and it was the school administration telling the mother to come pick up the child. That the building had fire safety rules and that they would not be able to get her daughter out of the school in time and she would most likely die in a fire.
The mother instead researched and found that not only were there no fires ever in that school, but there were no real fires in any of the schools in that state in the past 50 years. So the mother went right into that school and said, "I give you my permission that if there is a fire in the school then you can let my daughter burn."
THINK ABOUT THIS AND I WILL BE BACK TO BLOG LATER.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
So many people ask me, why inclusion? Why send Megan into an environment that is set up for her to fail? So many teachers have gotten used to finding the kids with the "disability" and sending them to the appropriate classroom for the right support....you sent Megan into a place that has no idea how to handle her....Well, I say....
I do it because I want what is best for MEGAN. Community and socialism is more important to me than academics. I can help and supplement at home....I cannot supplement the socialism and community she needs to build for herself.
I am going to be brutally honest here. Growing up I was SCARED of the people with special needs, they did not go to school with me and when I saw them out in the neighborhood I STAYED AWAY from them. All the kids in the neighborhood were mean to them. I remember this boy with Down Syndrome vividly, his name was Chris and people nicknamed him Purple Duck (not sure why). Chris liked one of the girls in the neighborhood and wanted to kiss her (I was in 5th or 6th grade and had no idea how old Chris was). Behind his back, this "girl" made fun of him. She told him to eat dog #$%^ and she would kiss him. It was so sad and gross and I just was not a strong enough person to get involved and I am ashamed of who I was, even being present for something like that.
My fear surfaced again when Megan was born. I was scared of her and scared I couldn't love her. Boy was I wrong. I did a lot of soul-searching and recounted my old memories the first couple of weeks after her birth. I realized people were mean to Chris because they did not know him, he was sent to a "special" school and so nobody was used to his speech and behaviors. He was not the norm. It was now my job as a parent to make it the norm. To expose Megan to all the kids who she would grow up around and be expected to work with in the future. So inclusion works for us. Megan is known in the community and treated with respect, she is not feared and she is part of the norm. So when we went to the mall on Friday and we ran in to kids from her school they did not stare and point, they did not gossip about her or make fun of her...they all walked right up to her and gave her a hug and asked her how she was doing....and so, this is why inclusion is important to me. I don't want anyone to fear Megan.
I do it because I want what is best for MEGAN. Community and socialism is more important to me than academics. I can help and supplement at home....I cannot supplement the socialism and community she needs to build for herself.
I am going to be brutally honest here. Growing up I was SCARED of the people with special needs, they did not go to school with me and when I saw them out in the neighborhood I STAYED AWAY from them. All the kids in the neighborhood were mean to them. I remember this boy with Down Syndrome vividly, his name was Chris and people nicknamed him Purple Duck (not sure why). Chris liked one of the girls in the neighborhood and wanted to kiss her (I was in 5th or 6th grade and had no idea how old Chris was). Behind his back, this "girl" made fun of him. She told him to eat dog #$%^ and she would kiss him. It was so sad and gross and I just was not a strong enough person to get involved and I am ashamed of who I was, even being present for something like that.
My fear surfaced again when Megan was born. I was scared of her and scared I couldn't love her. Boy was I wrong. I did a lot of soul-searching and recounted my old memories the first couple of weeks after her birth. I realized people were mean to Chris because they did not know him, he was sent to a "special" school and so nobody was used to his speech and behaviors. He was not the norm. It was now my job as a parent to make it the norm. To expose Megan to all the kids who she would grow up around and be expected to work with in the future. So inclusion works for us. Megan is known in the community and treated with respect, she is not feared and she is part of the norm. So when we went to the mall on Friday and we ran in to kids from her school they did not stare and point, they did not gossip about her or make fun of her...they all walked right up to her and gave her a hug and asked her how she was doing....and so, this is why inclusion is important to me. I don't want anyone to fear Megan.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Yesterday I went in to Megan's school to help her "shop" for presents for her brother, sister and dad. She did all the picking out herself. It was so cute to see her like something and pop it into her bag. I was very proud of her. Once we were done shopping she sat with her friends going over their purchases while I helped some other kids in her class.
She bought her sister an Angel Necklace in this cute velvet pink heart box, she picked out basketball book marks for Joey's books he is reading and she bought her daddy a ______ (sorry, daddy always reads the blog).
We had such a nice time and she gave me my hug and went back to class. She is finally getting used to seeing me at school and then going back to class w/o getting upset.
Had to share. Before the Thanksgiving holiday there were presents coming home in Megan's bookbag for her birthday. There were stuffed animals, necklace, movies and a cute note which reads like this:
Megan, Happy Birthday! You are so cool. I hope you like the stuffed animal dog. Love, Kara
OK, I had tears in my eyes reading that. How sweet! Looks like Megan is doing very well in the social department. When I spoke to one of the teachers at her school she told me Megan's new nickname was Megan the Movie Star since everyone knows her and says hello to her. I don't think I could ask for anything more!
She bought her sister an Angel Necklace in this cute velvet pink heart box, she picked out basketball book marks for Joey's books he is reading and she bought her daddy a ______ (sorry, daddy always reads the blog).
We had such a nice time and she gave me my hug and went back to class. She is finally getting used to seeing me at school and then going back to class w/o getting upset.
Had to share. Before the Thanksgiving holiday there were presents coming home in Megan's bookbag for her birthday. There were stuffed animals, necklace, movies and a cute note which reads like this:
Megan, Happy Birthday! You are so cool. I hope you like the stuffed animal dog. Love, Kara
OK, I had tears in my eyes reading that. How sweet! Looks like Megan is doing very well in the social department. When I spoke to one of the teachers at her school she told me Megan's new nickname was Megan the Movie Star since everyone knows her and says hello to her. I don't think I could ask for anything more!
So I thought I would pull out the old baby book that documented her growth over the years and see how far she has come!
11/08/2003 Birth- 7lbs. 3oz 18 3/4 in.
11/17/2003 11 days old- 6lbs. 6 oz. 18 3/4 in.
11/24/2003 2 weeks old- 6lbs. 7oz. 18 3/4 in.
12/12/2003 1 month- 7 lbs. 13 oz 20 in.
01/13/2004 2 months- 10 lbs. 0 oz. 21 in.
03/17/2004 4 months- 12 lbs. 4 oz. 23 in. (height 12% weight 25% Head Cir 20 %)
05/17/2004 6 months- 14 lbs. 9 oz. 25 in.
08/19/2004 9 months- 17 lbs. 8 oz. 26 1/2 in.
11/29/2004 1 year- 19 lbs. 3 oz. 27 1/2 in.
02/10/2005 15 months- 20 lbs. 3 oz. 28 1/2 in.
05/04/2005 18 months- 20 lbs. 12 oz. 29 in.
11/09/2005 2 years- 23 lbs. 14 oz. 30 1/2 in.
And now at 6 she weighs in at 42lbs and 41 inches tall.
My how she has grown!
11/08/2003 Birth- 7lbs. 3oz 18 3/4 in.
11/17/2003 11 days old- 6lbs. 6 oz. 18 3/4 in.
11/24/2003 2 weeks old- 6lbs. 7oz. 18 3/4 in.
12/12/2003 1 month- 7 lbs. 13 oz 20 in.
01/13/2004 2 months- 10 lbs. 0 oz. 21 in.
03/17/2004 4 months- 12 lbs. 4 oz. 23 in. (height 12% weight 25% Head Cir 20 %)
05/17/2004 6 months- 14 lbs. 9 oz. 25 in.
08/19/2004 9 months- 17 lbs. 8 oz. 26 1/2 in.
11/29/2004 1 year- 19 lbs. 3 oz. 27 1/2 in.
02/10/2005 15 months- 20 lbs. 3 oz. 28 1/2 in.
05/04/2005 18 months- 20 lbs. 12 oz. 29 in.
11/09/2005 2 years- 23 lbs. 14 oz. 30 1/2 in.
And now at 6 she weighs in at 42lbs and 41 inches tall.
My how she has grown!
Friday, November 20, 2009
FINALLY got my domain name back after a year hiatus! I was paying an arm and a leg through Yahoo but once they released the name I bought it through google! So now you can go just type in Megansgot47.com to get here! I hope to get back into blogging soon. Been really busy with no time to update. Not much going on here either and having a hard time coming up with things to talk about.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
I cannot believe you are 6. It seems like such a big number for such a little girl.
You started Kindergarten this year and your 3rd year of dance.
You amaze me everyday and your spunk will get you through life with flying colors.
Everyone you meet, everyone whom you talk to, loves you forever.
You are contagious...in a good way.
You are so special that you had no issues what so ever letting everyone help you open your presents, who does that? All kids I see are very territorial but you...you smiled and invited all to join in the fun. I wish everyone had a soul like yours, the world would be a better place.
Happy Birthday my beautiful girl....you make my life enormously better!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Is it contagious or what? LOL
I really tried NOT to look at Recee's Rainbow (I know that sounds terrible).
For me it was easier to ignore it cause when I paid attention I cried.
The more my friends started adopting the more I questioned in my head "why"...."how can they afford this"..."isn't it too stressful on their families"...so I started looking at the site wondering....reading blogs, looking at pictures.
I stared at faces wondering how each of my friends happened upon their chosen one. What drew them to a particular child? Did they decide on a child or a country, did they look domestically first? This all just seems like so much work.
I can not explain for me what changed in my head or what makes me go back to the same picture everyday wondering what this orphaned child is doing. If she is loved, kissed, played with, fed good food...if she is warm at night, if she longs for a family or if she is happy and content where she is (not knowing the looming fate that is ahead if she doesn't get adopted). So for now, we have pictures in all our rooms, we are praying hard, we are soul searching and working on things at home that need to be taken care of, I am working EXTRA hard on making my husband get to the same place I am....so for now we are just going to start raising money and getting people to pay attention. We can do that! I am hoping in the mean time God speaks to us and tells us his plan (cause sometimes I truly think that is what my husband is waiting for).
I know my thoughts are all over the place but I really wanted to get them out there, I wanted others to know it is on our hearts and minds too all of the time.
This will probably be shocking to some considering I haven't really said all this out loud to anyone yet, not even family.
Olivia asks me everyday, "Are we going on the airplane today to get my sister"....I know she already loves her! We have talked a lot about all the children who need a home and I know she would bring them all home if she could!
I really tried NOT to look at Recee's Rainbow (I know that sounds terrible).
For me it was easier to ignore it cause when I paid attention I cried.
The more my friends started adopting the more I questioned in my head "why"...."how can they afford this"..."isn't it too stressful on their families"...so I started looking at the site wondering....reading blogs, looking at pictures.
I stared at faces wondering how each of my friends happened upon their chosen one. What drew them to a particular child? Did they decide on a child or a country, did they look domestically first? This all just seems like so much work.
I can not explain for me what changed in my head or what makes me go back to the same picture everyday wondering what this orphaned child is doing. If she is loved, kissed, played with, fed good food...if she is warm at night, if she longs for a family or if she is happy and content where she is (not knowing the looming fate that is ahead if she doesn't get adopted). So for now, we have pictures in all our rooms, we are praying hard, we are soul searching and working on things at home that need to be taken care of, I am working EXTRA hard on making my husband get to the same place I am....so for now we are just going to start raising money and getting people to pay attention. We can do that! I am hoping in the mean time God speaks to us and tells us his plan (cause sometimes I truly think that is what my husband is waiting for).
I know my thoughts are all over the place but I really wanted to get them out there, I wanted others to know it is on our hearts and minds too all of the time.
This will probably be shocking to some considering I haven't really said all this out loud to anyone yet, not even family.
Olivia asks me everyday, "Are we going on the airplane today to get my sister"....I know she already loves her! We have talked a lot about all the children who need a home and I know she would bring them all home if she could!
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